I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, and it has now sparked a post. We were discussing those morons who decide they want to kill themselves. But I don't mean those regular suicidal imbeciles, oh no. I'm talking about the subcategory of suicidal morons. I'm talking about these dumbfucks who decide they want to kill themselves, but they can't just do it in the privacy of their own home. They can't just hang themselves or take a bunch of pills or put a pistol in their mouth and pull the trigger, doing the rest of us a favor by removing another idiot from today's society. These people go to the busiest fucking bridge on the busiest fucking highway in the city and stand there for hours, disrupting traffic and pissing everyone off. How insensitive is that? What the hell is the matter with these people? It's not enough their lives are pathetic and miserable, so they have to make our lives worse too by fucking up our day? The nerve of some people! This is what we should do to these people: We find one of these people, these seriously suicidal guys, a guy who really wants to do end it all, who has nothing to live for, no purpose, nothing on the horizon. Let him disrupt traffic for hours by standing on the ledge of an overpass. Now at this point we need a really good writer (perhaps someone like myself) to act as a police negotiator, and talk to this guy. Have this amazingly-talented author write a whole speech on why life is so great and why this suicidal guy should want to live. Make this guy really want to live. Make him feel better, make him feel like there's hope, that he shouldn't just end it all. Talk him down from the ledge and into safety. Then shoot him in the fucking head. Serves him right, that prick.
Now that's we've solved the problem with these suicidal guys I figured I've share a couple thoughts (five to be exact). I guess today was a creative and thoughtful day for me. I had five thoughts I felt worthy of posting. Usually I'm lucky if I have one. So here they are, the five things I thought today:
1. I think I'm about tired of this 'Kill Bill' music. Am I the only one? I'm talking about just that one part, that goes, "DUH DUH DUH!" It's driving me fucking insane. It's spreading to all kinds of media. It's on the NBA playoffs and other things that have nothing to do with the film. Now I loved the movie and Quentin Tarantino is a kick-ass director, but this music is driving me nuts.
2. I think that me not being able to get a girlfriend may finally pay off. I have a wager going with a girl I know. The bet is that I will have a girlfriend by the end of the calendar year. Should I still be alone by the time January 2005 rolls around, I stand to make $15 off it. Now obviously, I want someone more than anything, even if it meant paying $15 on a lost bet, so it won't affect my attempts to land a girlfriend. But at least some good may finally come out of it.
3. I think the MTV Movie Awards sucked. Every category had the same damn movies nominated. It was basically between characters from 'Kill Bill,' 50 First Dates,' and 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' I also think the best part of the entire show were those little intros that played before they listed the nominees for each category. You know what I'm talking about, those computer-animated skits, that were so twisted and fucked up? I loved those.
4. I think THE weirdest new story I've ever heard in my 16 years, 9 months, and 21 days of existence is one I heard years ago on the late local news. It was a story about four black men in their late teens who took turns raping an 8 year old retarded girl. If that's not the most fucked up thing I've ever heard, I don't know what is.
And finally...
5. I think the biggest indication that life just isn't fair is that 2Pac is dead, yet Hanson are still alive. Yet another reason why there probably isn't a God.
Now that's we've solved the problem with these suicidal guys I figured I've share a couple thoughts (five to be exact). I guess today was a creative and thoughtful day for me. I had five thoughts I felt worthy of posting. Usually I'm lucky if I have one. So here they are, the five things I thought today:
1. I think I'm about tired of this 'Kill Bill' music. Am I the only one? I'm talking about just that one part, that goes, "DUH DUH DUH!" It's driving me fucking insane. It's spreading to all kinds of media. It's on the NBA playoffs and other things that have nothing to do with the film. Now I loved the movie and Quentin Tarantino is a kick-ass director, but this music is driving me nuts.
2. I think that me not being able to get a girlfriend may finally pay off. I have a wager going with a girl I know. The bet is that I will have a girlfriend by the end of the calendar year. Should I still be alone by the time January 2005 rolls around, I stand to make $15 off it. Now obviously, I want someone more than anything, even if it meant paying $15 on a lost bet, so it won't affect my attempts to land a girlfriend. But at least some good may finally come out of it.
3. I think the MTV Movie Awards sucked. Every category had the same damn movies nominated. It was basically between characters from 'Kill Bill,' 50 First Dates,' and 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' I also think the best part of the entire show were those little intros that played before they listed the nominees for each category. You know what I'm talking about, those computer-animated skits, that were so twisted and fucked up? I loved those.
4. I think THE weirdest new story I've ever heard in my 16 years, 9 months, and 21 days of existence is one I heard years ago on the late local news. It was a story about four black men in their late teens who took turns raping an 8 year old retarded girl. If that's not the most fucked up thing I've ever heard, I don't know what is.
And finally...
5. I think the biggest indication that life just isn't fair is that 2Pac is dead, yet Hanson are still alive. Yet another reason why there probably isn't a God.
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