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Welcome to the Chris J. Nelson Archives!
A magical place of wonder and enchantment where you can freely peruse my past articles originally featured on my Xanga.
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Dance Dance Revolution: The end of the world.
The worst thing money can buy.
Capitalizing on stupidity.
How to not look like a total moron.
The Beastie Boys suck.
Six Flags commercials.
Public Suicide + 5 Random Thoughts.
Ray Charles
The homeless + BlackMonsterCocks.com
The guy every girl wants to be boned by.
The top 10 girls I want to bone.
My favorite songs ever.
Subliminal messages in kids movies.
A deaf kid masturbating.
Some kickass poetry.
The awesome intelligence chart.
Mass suicide: The funniest thing ever?
Singing retards.
Female teachers don't like rape jokes.
Don't touch my fucking pretzel goldfish.
Starving people give the best head.
You can't sue because you were anorexic.
Why John Kerry shouldn't be president.
Gonna have ugly kids? Find out now!
THE GREATEST POEM EVER.
Fuck Nelly and Justin Timberlake.
My generation's obsession with sex.
A rant about Christians.
Yes, 1/2 is in fact bigger than 1/4.
Wake the fuck up, you're fat.
Another rant about Christians.
You're black, not African-American.
It's hard being a black pro athlete.
All people fit into these 4 categories.
You'll get your god damn soda!
Cheerleading is NOT a sport.
Why there is NO girl for me.
Avril: Stop ruining good music.
Some vocalists just don't scream well.
10 reason why baseball sucks nowadays.
The positive side of molestation.
The Church of Ken Jennings.
People that deserve to die: Part I.
People that deserve to die: Part II.
The tobacco industry is awesome.
No movie ideas? Just combine 2 old ones!
10 ways to pick a president.
Coach Carter in a nutshell.
Great Fucking Advice: Vol. 1
One change Star Wars needs.
Cancer Patient Tattoos.
Definitions of 'irony'.
A story told by two heads.
Don't spray Axe on your balls.
Regular porn vs. Shemale porn.
Shobooba.
An Easter Chris Nelson Tribute to Jesus.
Journalism Fan Mail.
Crystal Springs: Racist Water.
Something you shouldn't be arrested for.
Why Porn is Awesome (English Essay)
A Nipple Dilemma
105.3 The Buzz vs. 99x
Kicking Pregnant Women Can Be Okay
Domestic Abuse comic
Why I Wish I Could Do Gay Porn
Originally written & published:
Sunday, March 27, 2005.
As promised, enjoy:
Copyright © 2004 Chris J. Nelson. All Rights & Your Mom's Pussy Reserved.
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