So it was 5 a.m. on Saturday night, or Sunday morning depending on how you look at it, and I was watching softcore porn on Cinemax (Shut up, it was between that and "10 Days of Madonna" on MTV Hits). I didn't want to wake my dad up, who was sleeping upstairs, so I muted the television. To my surprise, the captioning for the hearing-impaired pops up on the screen. Most of it just read [grunting] or [groaning] or [moaning] or [Oh yeah], which was funny in itself. But then I got a really funny thought: imagine some deaf kid jerking off to this with the captioning on. This kid's handicapped, hes's just a poor guy looking for a little pleasure because he can't enunciate enough to use a pick-up line, and just imagine his mom comes in and catches him. How funny is that? At least he doesn't have to hear her talk shit.
Speaking of male masturbation, have you noticed all the slang terms for the act relate to meat? Beat your meat, stroke your salami, choke your chicken, pull your pork, etc. Why just meat? Why not carrots, or bananas, or any other phallic-shaped food items? We need to make our slang terms more diverse. We could have a special one just for lactose intolerant people. Just an idea.
Speaking of male masturbation, have you noticed all the slang terms for the act relate to meat? Beat your meat, stroke your salami, choke your chicken, pull your pork, etc. Why just meat? Why not carrots, or bananas, or any other phallic-shaped food items? We need to make our slang terms more diverse. We could have a special one just for lactose intolerant people. Just an idea.
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