There are millions upon millions of products available to us in today's consumer market. Some of these products are quite useful, such as bouncy balls and blow-up dolls. But others are useless. Completely useless. Some are completely unnecessary. So why are these products made? Because the world is full of idiots, and the makers of such products know this. They are capitalizing on the stupid. A great example would be that device that was out a few years ago. You put it on your stomach, it vibrates or whatever, and it was supposed to give you ripped abs. And people bought this. In fact, this device sold 1,000,000 copies. That's 1,000,000 idiots right there, give or take some of the people who probably bought one for themselves and one or more as gifts. Did it work? Of course not. Did these people really think they would get washboard abs sitting on their fat asses watching TV for hours on end while they drank beer and ate potato chips? These people need to be killed, seriously. Just think how great this world would be if we eliminated say, the dumbest 20% of the people. That would be close to a fucking utopia.
That vibrating abs thing is not the reason I wrote this post, however. I am writing this because of a new diet device that is coming out. I cannot comprehend why this would sell. The device is called the DDS. It's a removable thing you put in your mouth while you eat that forces you to take smaller bites. The general idea is that you take smaller bites, get full faster, eat less overall, and lose weight. WHAT, ARE PEOPLE FUCKING STUPID? This is what it's come to? People need to pay for something that forces them to eat less so they can lose weight? Are these the weakest-minded people in the world or what? Do they not have enough self-control that they cannot just simply EAT LESS on their own? This has got to be the dumbest product to ever hit the market. Or perhaps it's the smartest. Because it will sell. It will rake in loads of money from desperate, weak, fat mother fuckers. And you know how much this dental appliance costs? $400. Amazing. Just think: if this device sells as well as that stupid abs thing, they'll bring in $400,000,000. And I wouldn't be surprised. People are so fucking stupid. Why do you have to pay to lose weight? You DON'T have to. Just get fucking motivated and do it on your own. Don't be so fucking weak. If you want it bad enough, you'll do it, and if you don't want it bad enough, you won't and you'll always be fat, but don't you fucking dare bitch about it.
What can we do about these people? It's simple. Starve them to death. Get everyone who has purchased the DDS up to this point, along with everyone who's even considered purchasing it, and lock them all in a big ass room, with no way to get out, and no food or water. Just a bare room. Make the walls those two-way unbreakable mirrors, this way we can watch them starve to death from behind the glass for our own entertainment, and they can see themselves get skinnier so they can be a little happy about their appearance right before they die. Surprised that I would allow them to be a little happy before they perish? So am I. Guess I'm just an all-around nice guy.
That vibrating abs thing is not the reason I wrote this post, however. I am writing this because of a new diet device that is coming out. I cannot comprehend why this would sell. The device is called the DDS. It's a removable thing you put in your mouth while you eat that forces you to take smaller bites. The general idea is that you take smaller bites, get full faster, eat less overall, and lose weight. WHAT, ARE PEOPLE FUCKING STUPID? This is what it's come to? People need to pay for something that forces them to eat less so they can lose weight? Are these the weakest-minded people in the world or what? Do they not have enough self-control that they cannot just simply EAT LESS on their own? This has got to be the dumbest product to ever hit the market. Or perhaps it's the smartest. Because it will sell. It will rake in loads of money from desperate, weak, fat mother fuckers. And you know how much this dental appliance costs? $400. Amazing. Just think: if this device sells as well as that stupid abs thing, they'll bring in $400,000,000. And I wouldn't be surprised. People are so fucking stupid. Why do you have to pay to lose weight? You DON'T have to. Just get fucking motivated and do it on your own. Don't be so fucking weak. If you want it bad enough, you'll do it, and if you don't want it bad enough, you won't and you'll always be fat, but don't you fucking dare bitch about it.
What can we do about these people? It's simple. Starve them to death. Get everyone who has purchased the DDS up to this point, along with everyone who's even considered purchasing it, and lock them all in a big ass room, with no way to get out, and no food or water. Just a bare room. Make the walls those two-way unbreakable mirrors, this way we can watch them starve to death from behind the glass for our own entertainment, and they can see themselves get skinnier so they can be a little happy about their appearance right before they die. Surprised that I would allow them to be a little happy before they perish? So am I. Guess I'm just an all-around nice guy.
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